Were you even thinking about cookies before? That’s the power of responsive desire. It can be that way with sex. Responsive desire is when our body and mind respond to outside cues and stimulus. If you or your partner experience responsive desire, use it to your advantage! Set the stage for sex and connection with cues and an attitude of openness to the experience even if you don’t immediately start with desire. 

If you have ever thought “I want to WANT to have sex!” then today is for you. You are NOT broken and NOTHING is wrong with you if you don’t suddenly burn with desire every time your partner walks by. Or if you aren’t tearing each other’s clothes off like in the movies or when you were first dating. Desire styles and levels and types change and shift over time. One type of desire style is RESPONSIVE desire. And that is what many people experience in partnerships. They don’t think about “cookies” all day long and then desperately rip through a package of oreos the minute they see one. BUT, if their partner is mixing up some cookie dough, they might sneak a taste. And then they smell the freshly baked cookies and decide that having a cookie sounds REALLY good right about now. Do you see where I am going with this? Sometimes getting started, having some outside cues, and feeling desired can switch on our desire.